(I haven't put any words up on the page in quite some time but I'm feelin' a bit different. So just bear with me and my little less than smooth post tonight). I just bawled to the point of snot running down my nose while on my bedroom floor. I'm approximately 8,392 miles away (give or take a thousand depending on what coast of the U.S. you're looking at) from my siblings; I'm a bit behind in the work I have to do; my college loans are very much still existent and just like the body that I'm learning to love daily, they're not changing anytime soon. BUT all that is NOT the reason why you would have found me sitting on my knees crying my eyes out not too long ago. Yes, my life has a few "bumps" that I wish would just roll themselves out but , hey, what can you do?
I'll tell you what I did. I thanked Him for every situation in my life - bumps and all. I thanked Him for my health. I thanked Him for my aspirations that while they are hard to reach sometimes, they are still existent and that means there is always something to look forward to. I thanked Him for my family. I thanked Him for the roof over my head. I thanked Him for the heart in my chest. I thanked Him for every memory I've had the fortune of making and every future moment that I'm blessed to walk forward to. Yes, like I said, my life has had a few bumps and the occasional mountain but that will never stop me from being grateful for everything else. It's in doing so that things fell into perspective and I realised just how bad my focus was. What business do I have dwelling on the bad when there is so much good just begging for attention? Focusing on everything that's good brought me to tears because it made me realise all the more just how much God loves me. He loves me so much that in the midst of all my ruts and complications He is willing stay and see me through. I was brought to tears because I know that no matter what, I'm going to be okay - we all will be.